Who Rescued Who?

Ok, so I didn't really "rescue" my Louis. But I didn't pick him out of a fancy doggie catalog either. I did rescue him from the garage he was living in, where he and his litter-mates freely did their business on the cold concrete. He was meant to be a sort of fill-in sibling for Violet, something to make us feel more like a family. I wanted a female dog because, well, I didn't like the idea of him ever humping me or his "lipstick" poking out. I don't like the penis. Period. But he was the cutest one in the litter, so I brought him home, showered him with kisses, got his balls removed, and now he's ended up being my favorite gentleman friend. He is kinda like an annoying little brother to Violet. She's constantly having to shut herself in her room to play with her Barbies so Louis doesn't snatch one of Barbie's hoochie dresses and make a run for it. He also eats all of our underwear, clean or dirty, he isn't picky. But I love this little bastard! It's those sad spaniel eyes and huge floppy ears. It's just impossible to punish him or stay mad long, no matter how expensive or cute the panties were. So I've crossed a line into "crazy dog lady," and have found I enjoy Louis's company more than human males. This is it, right? I will be alone forever.

Louis has been accused of being a "cock-block," by previous gentleman suitors, and sleeps cuddled next to me at night. But I think these men could learn so much from Louis about what I really want and need from a potential mate. First, good genes: Louis is a beautiful, full-bred blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Considered a large toy breed, the Cavalier usually weighs between 13 and 18 lbs. Like a large cat, but with a soul. My Lou Lou weighs a perfect 15 lbs, has beautiful markings and cutie patootie freckles. Any bitch at the dog park would be lucky to have his babies. Second, and more importantly, Louis is loyal. Louis is smart, but not boring. That is a tough combo to find! I mean, there was the dentist, the lawyer, the neuropyschologist, who's participation in the experiements with the Rhesus monkeys at the University Primate Center were fascinating... For the first hour or so... Ugh! Need I go on? Yawn! Louis is happy to see me when I get home, and while he does demand my attention, he is rewarded with an abundance of belly scratches and kisses. Louis enjoys the food I place in front of him and when I share with him, he never critiques the amount of garlic and onions I put into my food. Louis doesn't text me while I'm at work and demand that I respond promptly. I could go on and on, but I won't.

Sadly, Louis is unable to mow the lawn, or get a job in order to pay someone else to mow it. He can't take the garbage to the street on trash day. He can't kill spiders. He can be there waiting for me, but he can't hug me on a bad day and tell me everything is going to be fine and that he'll do the cooking tonight.